its my breaktime right now...i have half an hr

so um. i have a big test on wed. then another on monday. and then the biggest of them all on the 26th. hopefully i dont turn to stone from being completely stationary all day long.

anyway, 2 things

numero uno- a couple weeks ago there was an article in the nytimes , well actually, the entire magazine was dedicated to eco-consciousness. its on everyone's mind, i know it bc i see it in your actions, or hear it come out of ure mouthes. all of u in shangrila, attempt at having a somewhat eco conscious outlook on life, and also outside of shangrila. what i found really sad, but really true, for myself, and in regards to many, we have the ability to "be green" but our minds only are capable of handling a finite number of obstacles. basically, our minds can juggle only a few balls at a time. some of us can juggle 5 balls, some can juggle 8. and while we're juggling these balls, if someone throws another at us (say paying another new bill every month) we drop one of our other balls in a basket by our feet where we can still see it, and dammit does it bug us, but we. do. n.o.t.h.i.n.g.
i think the line in the article was something along the lines of "we have a finite pool of worry" and that because of this, the author, whose beliefs dont all sit well with me yet, but anyway, because of this, he felt that humans are destined to fail. mathematically, yes, i can see it makes sense. if you can only take 7 bullets at a time, ure fucked if ure hit with 8 (sorry about switching from the balls to the bullets, heh). and we might , as humans just have a kiddi pool of worry to deal with right now, but this pool of anthropogenic worries will definitely overflow, because the oceans ARE rising no matter if its only an inch or two.

-there was one other part in the magazine that really appealed to me. so, justin, awhile ago, a very very while back gave me this book to read "the art of motorcycle maintenance" . i'm almost done, but not quite yet, along with 4 other books that im almost done with which sit patiently on my desk. all of them are REALLY GOOD, i'll get there i'm sure. anyway, this article slightly touches on how there are two different systems that we use for processing risk.
a) the analytical -those who consider costs and benefits
b) the romantic -those who consider risk as a feeling
it is said that the analytical brain is a more evolved brain, and it is said that the romantic brain is the only reason why robots havent [completely] taken over our lives-both, proving to be invaluable for the existence and balance of humankind.

some of u might remember me asking u if u would rather take 10 dollars now or 50 dollars in two years. this article is what sparked that question. in the analytical mode, which was surprising 4 me, longterm thinking is undervalued so they undervalue any sort of promised future outcome . analytical thinkers, would rather take 10 bucks now than wait 2 years and take 50 bucks. the romantic also has his/her own issues, when you let emotion overtake your decisions, from my own life experience i can tell you that, whatever decision you come to after sitting down and balling your eyes out isn't going to happen, shouldnt happen, and probably is so surreal, chilling out for a day and assess again would be best, heh.
i personally believe, and i think that this is concurrent with the author of the article, we are all a different percentage of each. some more romantic some more analytical, and throughout our days, we strive for some sort of balance between the two that will not only satisfy the only thing we really know, our soul, but also our world. because no matter what any of us say or do, we are not agoraphobics, we love eachother and live not just for ourselves, but for eachother.

and here i go on my romantic spoof, while listening to transatlanticism as tears stream down my eyes thinking of all the stupid fucking things ive said and done (tho, no regrets), atti's soul is prob 75% romantic and 25% analytical...........ha......................... lets all try a little harder, yea?

love,
the the little one who wakes up to bachata music and a beautiful sunrise and sometimes a pretty little kitty sleeping next to her.

oh p.s. i'm going to jazz night on wed night at atlas with a really really REALLY big bottle of wine
cheers :)